what's the difference a date makes?

Oh well...

The best remedy to parting ways with a dead-end date or—for that matter—having no dates, is getting six of them.

Yes, you heard it. Got doubts? Make it 10 then.

I have put the remedy to the test. It works. Trust me.

---

Three years ago, the woman whom i had been seeing justly figured that i wasn't "security" material {My name is Bond; Junk Bond.} and walked.

The next few days—as you can imagine—i was in a brooding mood. It didn't take long though (≈3 days and 10 hours) before i decided that's no way to remain. I asked myself the obvious question: "How does one stop dwelling on a dating partner?"

"Dwell on 10," a voice in my head blurted.

Although the answer came from myself, it still sounded like a bad joke. But it began making good sense after some contemplation. For one, it's hard to be obsessed with one date when there are half a dozen. Two; the idea sounded like so much fun that it might be worth a shot just for the hell of it.

So david went a-trying. Among the "haves" that most women seemed to look for—physique, looks, security, status, top education—I got none, so I focused on what I could do. During the next few weeks, I smiled and said hello to everyone whose eyes caught mine. Yes, guys too; hell knows if they aren't going to introduce david to their sisters. Smiling and hellos are free, aren't they?

"Seem" indeed it was. It turned out that a smile and bit of empathy were rarer attributes in Hong Kong than the deep pocket. david ended up going out with seven new friends in the following month—among them an architect with a delightful blush, and a Colombian emerald trader.

The bull-market in the shares of idiotSupremo continued to run until a year later. Then i decided that kind, stylish friends were infinitely more interesting than a "life-partner." There is more respect, laughter, and fewer value projections. I stopped asking for phone numbers.

It was fun while it lasted and, hey, I learnt a few things...

---

Millions of folks around the world believe that a date is something they wait for Fate to hand out. {Chuck the date into my mailbox with the newspaper please, and ring my doorbell.} In this night, therefore, many of them are entering their nth dateless month, or year. Goodness knows what kind of pressure they would put upon themselves when a date finally comes along. They will probably be lime green and bent out of shape at the rendezvous. That being the case, you can guess the outcome...

On the flip-side, if you had three or four dates lined up for the coming week, you wouldn't feel like a deity if any one goes well, or take it too personally if it flopped. Equanimity is more attractive than confidence, which is often faked anyways. On top of that, you may also discover that there's a galaxy of adorable qualities out there besides what you deem to be your "type."

Armed with the "cold-blooded" knowledge that there are heaps more of them dates down the line, you may also develop some psychological room to actually smile and be yourself at the dinner without sweaty palms.

One last thing. Many folks david knows harbour a self-image that's dismal in comparison to the exquisite person whom others see in them. Meeting some strangers might finally hammer home the realization that everybody else has a higher regard of their qualities than themselves. The ego is indeed one's worst enemy.

---

Epilogue:

Two years down the road, about half of the women whom I saw during the aforementioned days have remained close buddies. In fact, I made an effort to treat four of them to dinner in the past three weeks. So... the "crazy" array of dates turned out to be a sound move after all. The friendships forged that year have sailed through the test of time.

So david should perhaps start asking for telephone numbers again. Leave me yours, my friend, if you like, and let's go get a glass of wine.